Monthly Archives: March 2015

The phrase “unconditional love” runs through my mind for the thousandth time as I lie awake in a much-too-expensive Hollywood, California, hotel room. I stare at the boxed ceiling as those two words are whispered to my soul time and time again.  Is that really what I’m doing here?  Am I here because I am trying to love unconditionally?

You see, a year ago I made a promise to a friend I’ve known 2/3 of my life, a friend I love down to the tips of my desperately-needing-a-pedicure toes. I promised I’d show for his California event and even stay at this very hotel.  However, we had a disagreement two weeks ago, a disagreement about fundamental beliefs to be sure, but still only a disagreement. Love does not mean I have to approve of everything you do or vice-versa, no?   However, the upshot is that I’m not sure I’m even wanted or welcomed here anymore, and my friend’s not talking (Probably a good sign I should’ve stayed home.) But a promise is a promise, and love is love. Love is Love. Continue reading →

I spent Sunday following (read that as chasing) my two high-energy nephews through the relatively small Tucson Zoo. In case you think I was alone in this endeavor, fear not. No, my brother, who is their father, and their 20-year old sister were right there with me. It was really one of those days that you desperately want to tuck deep into an inner pocket of your soul to be pulled-out at some later crisis point and cherish. You have those days, too, yes? Blue skies, soft breeze, all the animals out, and my kids, the ones who are the closest I’ll ever come to my own, laughing and smiling with me.

You’ve heard me talk about, the Little Dude, Z. Funniest kid I know, hands down. It’s not that he means to be, but he just comes up with some of the best thought-mouth releases I’ve ever heard. Very little filter. Might not be so cute as he gets older, but for now, he cracks me up.

So, Z and I are standing by the Rhino enclosure where old Mr. Rhino has taken refuge from the 80° heat in his huge mud pond. Z reads the carefully lettered zoo sign, which explains why rhinos like mud: stay cool, stay away from harmful sunrays, keep away from bugs, camouflage, etc. Once finished perusing the sign, he turns his narrow little heart-shaped face to me and says in all earnestness, “Maybe we should find a mud puddle, too.” Z’s brain at work: it’s hot; the rhino got in the mud; the mud must be good. Continue reading →

I love my father.

When I was a little, bitty girl, nothing made me feel safer than that he was somewhere nearby, ready to spring into action should the need arise. But, alas, it seldom did, at least for me. I was a pretty straight arrow. (We won’t discuss my siblings.) But then my father also travelled for work A LOT!!!!! He missed birthdays, and those I remember keenly, though, I’m not sure at all if he does. We’ve never discussed it, and, frankly, I wouldn’t want to hurt him by asking.

When I was a child my father was the tallest, strongest, most handsome man alive. I remember all of this distinctly. He was my champion, and he would and could slay any dragon threatening harm. Continue reading →

I’d just finished a 6-mile run one muggy Virginia summer day a couple of years ago. If you know the Alleghenies, you know the kind of day I’m talking about. The sky is a washed-out-blue-jeans indigo, thin-strips of white-cotton clouds hiding a low burning sun. That kind of day doesn’t feel hot, but leaves you wringing your arms and legs out within minutes of stepping off the front porch. Yeah, it was that kind of day. And, please, notice, I said I was in the mountains. So, this run was not for the flat-landers. Up and down wooded trails, some paved, some graveled – all grueling. And, as always, my heart had found exhilaration with each footfall. Continue reading →