One Christmas I drove to Texas to spend the holiday with my brother, M, and his family. Now, anyone who lives in the latitudes above the sunbelt will entertain the notion that I’m a bit “off” when I say that it was just chilly enough for me to break out my coat and flannel PJs yet warm enough for me to run outside. Fabulous Christmas weather!
I adore M’s kids; well, M and his wife, J, too, but really it’s all about the kids. My niece is a teenager – much to my continuing dismay and astonishment as in my mind she will forever be three years old with bright shiny cheeks and strawberry curls frizzing at her cheeks. Should I mention that since she has turned 18 she has also acquired an impressive number of tattoos – also much to my continuing dismay and astonishment? The boys, Auz and Z, are much younger, and much more intense, both with dramatically impressive personalities already well-defined. So far, they are tattoo free. Christmas with the kids is my idea of the way life is intended to be.
That year for Christmas, my brother said that Auz wanted something called “Moon Sand,” apparently the 21st century rebooted version of Play-Doh. So, being the doting aunt I am, I high tailed it over to Target and bought the aforementioned dream toy, wrapped it in bright, shiny penguin paper, and tucked it among the already towering pile under (around) the Christmas tree.
In those pre-dawn hours of Christmas morning that all very tiny children seem to find the appropriate time to drag their household from bed to the tree-side, Z and Auz, surrounded by their bleary-eyed adults dazedly sipping coffee, dove into their piles of gifts and made short work of the paper and tape jobs exclaiming happily over each item. Eventually, Auz placed his little hands on the lovingly wrapped Moon Sand and began to peel away the paper. Job done, prize revealed, he crowed happily. “Moon Sand! I always wanted Moon Sand.” Auz stared at it for all of 5 seconds then casually tossed the gift aside before moving on to the next present.
Don’t misunderstand: Auz did want the Moon Sand, and he did play with it several times, and he did derive pleasure from it as from all his gifts. The thing was, the pleasure was temporary, and in many cases extremely temporary.
Assessing the language he used when he opened his Moon Sand (i.e. “always wanted”) Auz had an eternal focus but a temporary outlook. He may have believed he had desired Moon Sand for as long as his sweet little heart had beaten, but in reality it had been a very short while – probably the sum total of the 2 month Christmas television commercial marketing campaign. And his attention span would be captured by the toy for about as long, at best.
As Auz’s very wise aunt, I smiled my wise aunt smile as I observed his “always-want-soon-forget” behavior and thought about how dear he was. It was in that split second that I heard a still, small voice loudly and clearly shout, “WAKE UP!” You see, Auz and I are not that much different. OOPS…
No, I didn’t ask for Moon Sand, and I didn’t get a Christmas present that I forgot 2 days later…at least I don’t remember doing so. But, I do often believe that I have an eternal focus when in reality I am looking only at the here and now – how I spend my time, how I interact with others . . . you see where I’m going with this.
I spend an inordinate amount of time watching other people house hunt on HGTV or decorate – not always well – when I could be running. Those of you whose eyes just glazed over at the mention of running please understand when I say I use my running time to write – (No, I do not carry a pen and paper, though that would be an awesome trick. I do it in my head.)- or to pray.
I also read quite a number of books that once I’m through I wonder why I bothered – kind of a garbage-in-garbage-out thing. You’d think I could figure out sooner that I didn’t want to finish that book, but really it’s a type-A personality issue. I literally can’t seem to not finish a book. What if the book gets better? But I digress…ultimately what I’m getting at is the need to be intentional with my time.
As for relationships, at the risk of sounding callous, some are worth more effort than others. Relationships take time to be nurtured, and they ebb and flow with the seasons of life. I have been blessed with four friendships that have lasted more than 20 years and are absolute lifelines for me. These four women are soooo more like sisters than friends. But even as much as I love these women, we have cycled through seasons of closeness.
I also have friendships that are relatively spring chickens and that I sense will join the ranks of those long-term ones. However, the majority of my relationships are not these. Instead, I spend most of my time with people whom, for whatever reason, I sense are simply passing through my life. These temporary relationship assignments lack the chemistry that would lead me to feel like we’re PB-n-J or mac-n-cheese together. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the company of these friends, but if I view this through an eternal lens, investing the majority of my time in these relationships appears foolish. I’d like to think I’m not foolish.
Back to Moon Sand…
It’s long been forgotten – the Moon Sand, and Auz is older. So am I. His attention span has improved a bit. I’d like to think mine has shifted. Some days I might be right.
The Unexpected Life 